IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on peoples' behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #peoples #behaviour
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The bar graph illustrates the difference in electricity between
production
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 and
consumption
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 in the large numbers of countries which are 10 nations in the year of 2014. Overall, China showed the highest
rank
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 of
production
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 and
consumption
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 with over 5000
billion
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kwh
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kWh
. While Korea was the lowest
rank
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 which was lower than 500
kwh
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.
However
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, Almost all the countries had
production
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 more than
consumption
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, except Germany that
consumption
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 more than
production
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. According to the illustration, The
production
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 and
consumption
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 of electricity in China was nearly 5000 that was the
first
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rank
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. The
second
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rank
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 was the USA, producing and consuming about 0ne-fifth less than China.
Next
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, the
third
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place
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 was Russia, The amount of
production
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 and
consumption
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 was nearly the same number was about
around
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apply
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1050
billion
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 wgh.
Furthermore
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, After the
third
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rank
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 amount of each
production
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 and
consumption
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 was lower than 1000
billion
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kWh
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. Japan was the fourth
rank
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 that produced about 936
billion
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kWh
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 and 856
billion
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kWh
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 for
consumption
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. The seventh, eighth, ninth
place
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 was French, Brazil, and Germany. They produced and consumed a similar amount of electricity around one
second
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 of the
third
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place
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.
Finally
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, Korea was the tenth
place
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 that produced and consumed lower than 500
billion
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 wgh.
Submitted by poomdecha2546 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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