IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Commercial advance is considered by plenty of governments because they think that it is the most significant aim for the nation; nevertheless, some people consider that other types of advance are evenly necessary. This essay will discuss whether the commercial advance is the most significant part of developing country or not.

Commercial
advance
Use synonyms
 is considered by plenty of governments because they think that it is the most significant aim for the
nation
Use synonyms
;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, some people consider that other types of
advance
Use synonyms
 are evenly necessary.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss whether the commercial
advance
Use synonyms
 is the most significant part of
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 or not. Nowadays, commerce is utilized vastly because it is essential and indispensable for the citizens. The governments use the money -which the states keep from citizens’ taxes- to build the
country
Use synonyms
 up in various ways,
such
Linking Words
 as publication, transportation, administration, education, and many more. The most important thing is to push people’s life to be better. The governments have to plan how to use money efficiently to make everyone has a great life. Commercial
advance
Use synonyms
 is the most significant because every
country
Use synonyms
 will be underdeveloped if the
country
Use synonyms
 has the lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic movement. Even though the other kinds of
Use synonyms
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
 are less essential than commercial
Use synonyms
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
, they still have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial outcome for the
nation
Use synonyms
. They are the subordinate points of commercial
advance
Use synonyms
 since commerce is an immense part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 running the currency within the
nation
Use synonyms
. Without these types of progress,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will be awful and scarce. People will struggle with one another to survive if the
nation
Use synonyms
 lacks
this
Linking Words
 progress;
therefore
Linking Words
, they are necessary for everyone as well.
For instance
Linking Words
,
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 facet is really significant for pupils because they will be hopes in the future, but everything will be vain if the economy cannot approach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress. In my perspective, commercial
advance
Use synonyms
 is the most vital purpose for the government. I extremely believe that every
nation
Use synonyms
 is being developed in financial. It is the major part of improving and managing the scenario that potentially occurs in the future if the government has the much sufficient potential.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: