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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Any
society
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 is alive based on various aspects that government should provide. One of the most important of them is economics.
Although
Linking Words
 economic improvement is crucial in every
country
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,
this
Linking Words
 would be not enough and other possible growth factors of a
country
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 should be considered
such
Linking Words
 as
politics
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 and
security
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 that will be discussed
furthur
Correct your spelling
further
.
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Economy
Add an article
The economy
show examples
 is one of the essential elements of every
society
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, and by putting enough attention and nurturing it, several benefits will be provided; Two of the most important ones are crowd lives enhancements and increasing
in
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in-country
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country
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power
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. If any
country
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 wants to obtain its people
power
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 for buying goods, the government itself needs to sustain the
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 health.
Then
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 parents and those who
works
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work
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 can provide a relaxing life for their families by
reasonable
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a reasonable
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 amount of salary they gain. The other benefit that
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth will provide, is improving
Add a hyphen
in-country
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in
Change preposition
apply
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country
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power
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 among others.Every
society
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 with
good
Correct article usage
a good
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economy
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 will gain tourists and powerful companies attention and
subsequently
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 will be more powerful than it was before.
For example
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, China is now of the greatest world leaders in
economy
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, and
threfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
 It is a great
country
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.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 is essential
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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there are other factors as good as or even more important than
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
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,
such
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 as
politics
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 and
security
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power
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 of a
country
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. No
country
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 can be successful without having
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 with others and
that is
Linking Words
 why good political contacts are very important.
For instance
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, there is North Korea as an independent
country
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, and It barely has
political
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a political
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relationship
Replace the word
relations
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 with other governments, and It is clear, living quality is not suitable for their people in that
country
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.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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politics
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,
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security
Correct article usage
the security
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power
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 of a
country
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 is the other
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 factor that needs to be provided.
govenrmts
Correct your spelling
governments
 should assure their
scociety
Correct your spelling
society
 with complete
security
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can spend their time without
fearing
Change the form of the verb
fear
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.As we have heard in news, we are aware that Afghan people are not having a secure life these days because of their lack of
security
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 in their
country
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. To conclude, as discussed in advance,
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economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 is one of the essential things for
society
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 but
on the other hand
Linking Words
, there is
security
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 and
politics
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 which have
very
Add an article
a very
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 profound influence on
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of inhabitants and
therefore
Linking Words
 governments should
also
Linking Words
 consider these as well.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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