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Band 4.5

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
It is generally accepted that the role of
women
 has drastically altered in a
myriade
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
.
However
, some people assert that these societies cannot be claimed to have achieved
gender
equality
.I disagree with
this
 statement to a large extent and I will put forward a number of reasons in
this
 essay. It can be vividly observed that
women
 have been provided with a plethora of job opportunities in
this
 era and,they even obtain a more prestigious occupation than men.A good illustration of
this
 would be a manifold of workplaces nowadays in which
women
 are executive managers or presidents.Despite the fact that there is a
classical
Replace the word
classic
show examples
 stereotype of
women
 being
soly
Correct your spelling
solely
 responsible for household chores
such
 as cleaning the dishes and cooking meals,a number of work environments being led by females can be seen ubiquitously.
Moreover
, it is
also
 worth pointing out that there has been a swelling number of female politicians and leaders across the globe.If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
 had not actually gained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender
equality
 as men, many female leaders and representatives of
authories
Correct your spelling
authorities
authorises
 would not have emerged.
In addition
, various
women
 have been employed for
millitary
Correct your spelling
military
 and police
servies
Correct your spelling
services
 around the world,albeit not without exceptions.Just because
women
 are generally weaker than men, it
doen
Correct your spelling
does
 not necessarily follow that they cannot work for physically demanding occupations.
Therefore
, it is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination
to
Change preposition
against
show examples
women
 is virtually impossible for the time being. What is more,notwithstanding the fact that
women
 are more responsible for
upbringing
Add an article
the upbringing
show examples
 of
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 as they are naturally inclined ,stay-at-home fathers have become more common these days.
Consequently
,it would not be an
exaggertion
Correct your spelling
exaggeration
 to say that
gender
equality
 has been approved. To recapitulate,
although
 there are some
commpelling
Correct your spelling
compelling
 counterparts,I am quite convinced that the old
consercative
Correct your spelling
conservative
 beliefs and traditions have been eliminated and
gender
equality
 has been accommodated.I fervently deem that well-established laudable
gender
equality
 will be preserved and we are in for some unprecedented developments in the future.
Submitted by minphyoethwin999 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
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