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Writing Samples
Band 6

Question: Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centers
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Many
people
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 feel that it would be a great change if large companies and industries move to the regional
areas
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 outside large urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 feel there will be more advantages to
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
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disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 my views with opinions are mentioned below. When an
industry
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 is moved to the outskirts we can find
major
Add an article
a major
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 difference in the
traffic
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 system. because, if the industries are placed in the
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center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the cities
people
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 who go to work will live in the
Correct your spelling
nearby
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near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
areas
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 and
thus
Linking Words
traffic
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 increases.
For example
Linking Words
, if an
industry
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 is newly established in the
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center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
city
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, it provides various job opportunities for different
people
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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people
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 who are placed in
this
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industry
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 will seek to live in the nearby
areas
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. So as the population density increases
traffic
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also
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 increases.
In addition
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,
besides
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 the increase in
Use synonyms
traffic
Add a comma
,traffic
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 there will
also
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 be an increase in pollution.
This
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 will have adverse
Replace the word
effects
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affects
Correct your spelling
effects
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 on peoples health living in the urban
areas
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. But if an
industry
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 is placed in the outer sides of urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, it will be far away from the majority of the
people
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 so the risk of health disorders will
be low
Correct your spelling
below
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.
For example
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, if a cement
industry
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 is placed at the
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
city
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 the byproducts or the harmful gases that are released will
Correct your spelling
affect
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 peoples lungs. But if
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
industry
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 is placed far away from the
city
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Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
then
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 it is more likely that
people
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 who suffer from health issues due to industrial release will be reduced. In conclusion, I can say that the advantages
over weighs
Correct your spelling
overweighs
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 to disadvantages when
a
Change the article
an
show examples
industry
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 is placed in the
city
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 outskirts. So it is always better if large companies and industries are outside the
city
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Submitted by nitin.chowdary4545 on

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