IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professional athletes should be free to use performance enhancing substances if they wish. Do you agree?

#people #athletes #performance #substances
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It is supposed that professional
players
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 should resort to supplements and drugs without any restrictions to boost their performances during competitions. In my viewpoint, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea as it violates international sportsmanship and leads to serious
health
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 consequences in the long run. In
this
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 essay, I shall put forth some ideas with lucid examples to exemplify my points.
First
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 and foremost,
this
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 action may lead to unfairness and injustice in global sports matches between developed and developing countries. It is obvious that wealthy nations often invest enormous resources in their national teams with advanced training facilities and nutritious meal plans.
In contrast
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,
players
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 from developing areas like African countries, are prone to their hard works, countless training hours and innate talents.
Therefore
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, it would be unfair and create a disparity if we allow the use of boosting performance substances without any restrictions.
Moreover
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, these sportsmen may become dependent on these energy drinks, which may lead to deleterious
health
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 effects if they consume for a long period. Illegal medications may stimulate the cardio system and help users to work longer hours.
As a result
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, it could jeopardize cardiovascular
health
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 and cause serious consequences
such
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 as stroke or heart attack.
On the other hand
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, the consumption of supportive supplements is inevitable in training but it should be used under the strict supervision of
health
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 professionals. With the pertinent amount, these sustenances are very beneficial to aid trainers to reach their highest potential and remain steady in many years.
Additionally
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, it is legitimate for sports
players
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 to follow logical training schedules with sufficient resting hours and nutritious meals. In conclusion, consuming training supplements with the approval of general practitioners may be harmful to professional athletes and create inequality in sports.
However
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, using a decent amount with strict supervision may be crucial to boosting the performance of these
players
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.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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