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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With the increased use of computers, the internet, and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development for employers and employees?

It is debated whether working outside the workplace is a positive development. Some people claim that
due to
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 the mobility and flexibility of working at
home
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, worker satisfaction and efficiency will increase,
while
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 others firmly believe that working
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
 apartment can be distracting and unproductive.
This
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 essay will elucidate both sides of
this
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 argument and conclude whether the benefits exceed the disadvantages. On the one hand, in today's fast-paced world, many CEOs tend to believe that working at house is insufficient in comparison with working at a workplace.
Firstly
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, they claim that there are many distractions at
home
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 that can distract the clerk from
work
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.
For example
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, during a business call, unexpected noises
such
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 as sounds from the drain in the kitchen can distract an employee from an important meeting.
Secondly
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, it is evident that without supervision, employees tend to
work
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 less efficiently. The temptation to rest during
work
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 time can be too appealing for them.
As a result
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 of that,
work
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 efficiency decreases.
On the other hand
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, employee satisfaction is an important aspect that needs to be taken into consideration. Working at house lets employees
work
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 at their own pace, leading to a better
work
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-life balance.
In addition
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, the flexibility that working from
home
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 provides, positively affects clerk productivity.
For example
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, if employees are unable to complete a task at the office, they can finish it from the apartment.
Therefore
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, task achievement increases. In conclusion, it is obvious that the benefits of working at
home
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 exceed the drawbacks and that we should promote
this
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 trend in сompanies.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer statement on your position regarding whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages at the end. It will strengthen your conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify terms like 'worker satisfaction' and 'productivity' for better understanding. Specific examples would enhance the argument's impact.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are balanced in length, as this can improve the overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
You might want to vary your sentence structures a bit more to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the essay's purpose and clearly states that both sides of the argument will be explored.
task achievement
There is a good attempt at discussing both advantages and disadvantages, indicating a balanced view on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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