IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the percentage of people in urban and rural areas, and trends in Age structure between 1960 and 2040. agree

#percentage #people #areas #trends #age #structure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts provide information about the percentage of people in urban and rural
areas
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and trends in
Age
Use synonyms
 structure between 1960 and 2040. Overall, it is clear that the population in both
areas
Use synonyms
 has shown an upward trend over the
period
Use synonyms
, while rural
areas
Use synonyms
 have remained constant.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 15 to 65 has a significant increase throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. In 1950, the total population in both rural and urban
areas
Use synonyms
 were at about 10%, and
then
Linking Words
 the trends have increased steadily for 50 years. It will reach
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 highest point in 2040.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, at the
first
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 people in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 were higher than rural
areas
Use synonyms
 by approximately 2% and it was the most difference in the proportions between
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in two
areas
Use synonyms
 at 2040. In terms of trends in
Age
Use synonyms
 structure,
at
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 the beginning, the highest proportion was contributed by the 15 to 65
age
Use synonyms
 group around 6%, and
then
Linking Words
 it will rise extremely to the highest percentage at 35% in 2040.
However
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
 groups of under 15 and over 65 had the same point at the
first
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 under 15 increased slightly to 5% in 1960 and the
age
Use synonyms
 over 65 declined to around 2% in 1960, It will continue to remain stable
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 2040.
Submitted by Marker & Kaohom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: