The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. What extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Road safety has become a pipe dream for most individuals living on Earth.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
a significant number of people become victims of accidents
thus
Linking Words
making it a global concern.
Although
Linking Words
a plethora of steps
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been taken to alleviate these mishaps, the number of casualties
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
not declined yet. Some people hold the view that punishing drivers is the only way to ameliorate road safety, while I believe that it is necessarily not the only solution.
This
Linking Words
essay tends to explain the reasoning behind my viewpoint.
To begin
Linking Words
with, drivers are not the only persons to be blamed for these casualties, highway conditions are
also
Linking Words
responsible. Nowadays, streets are constructed with substandard materials,
accordingly
Linking Words
, potholes are formed during the rainy season.
Similarly
Linking Words
, ongoing maintenance of streets leaves behind dug-up roadways without any proper barricades.
Unavailability
Correct article usage
The unavailability
show examples
of street lights
also
Linking Words
exacerbates the problem.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently an Indian girl was run over by a truck. At
Linking Words
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
her scooter fell in a pit and she fell on the road, before she could get up a truck hit her because the trucker did not see her due to darkness.
Additionally
Linking Words
, inferior vehicle conditions contribute to accidents. In Bangladesh, most public buses are 10 to 20 years old
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but are still running on the highways. So, in times of emergency, it is impossible for the operators to stop the vehicle. In worst scenarios the buses can collide with another automobile, killing all the passengers on board.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are no organised traffic regulations and highway patrol in most cities
hence
Linking Words
no security. Due to dysfunctional traffic lights,
crossing
Add an article
the crossing
a crossing
show examples
of pedestrians and cars coincide resulting in misfortunes. Considering all these, the government should be held blameworthy as it is the authority's responsibility to provide safer public transportation and systematic traffic rules. To conclude, mishaps are caused not only by reckless driving but by several other factors. Improved roadways, vehicles and laws are indispensable to enhance the safety of our roads.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I disagree with the given statement.
Submitted by maimunazaman474 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: