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Band 4

Due to the increasing density of living areas in a city, most residents are suffering from physical and social dangers. Consequently, they are against living in the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#density #areas #city #residents #dangers
There is no ample evidence that
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
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 in physical and social issues in
cities
 is due to
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
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 density of urban life. I deeply believe that the benefits of living in a large
city
 outweighs its drawbacks. In my point of view, the majority of people migrate to big
cities
 in order to improve the quality of their lives. If the population density in a
city
 leads to an increase in crime, why
most
Add a missing verb
do most
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 people really prefer to migrate to a large
city
. One of the reasons that most people tend to live in a large
city
 is that there are many
job
 opportunities that they can apply for. I firmly believe that there is always a competition to obtain a professional
job
, but everyone can find a suitable
job
 based on his/her knowledge, skills, and experience.
Although
 living in a quiet place without air pollution and noise is a dream for everyone but having a
job
 with
adequate
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an adequate
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 income is one of the priorities of everybody’s life. Another plus point of living
Correct your spelling
in
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is
Correct your spelling
in
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such
cities
 is the existence of medical services in modern hospitals. I distinctly remember when I was a child, it was extremely difficult to visit a doctor in our village. One of my best friends died due to the lack of emergency health care in our village. The existence of
Correct article usage
a hospital
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hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 equipped with modern technologies is vital in the residential area. The lack of medical services may lead to
endanger
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endangering
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 the human’s life. It is mistakenly believed that
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 population density of a
city
 leads to an increase in crime. There is no sufficient justification for
such
 a claim. There are a lot of
cities
 with
large
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a large
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 where the rate of crime is low.
Submitted by meghdad.mirabi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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