IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Human kind have varied opinion as to whether use of bicycles as the main form of transport has more pros than cons.

#bicycles #form #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the
health
Use synonyms
 benefits of bike
use
Use synonyms
 is keeping physically active and fit.As a matter of fact,regular physical activity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can help
protecr
Correct your spelling
protect
 one from serious diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity,arthritis,and heart diseases.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 an individual indulging in regular cycle rides will have
reduced
Correct article usage
a reduced
show examples
 risk of acquiring
health
Use synonyms
 problems,associated with
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
,a study carried out in the year 2019
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 manchester university revealed that 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of persons who cycled regularly were physically active and fit.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of bicycles helps one to feel fit and physically active.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of two wheels can contribute to
health
Use synonyms
 hazards in unlikely weather conditions.Riding bike during
rainy
Correct article usage
the rainy
show examples
 and cold season cannot only be cumbersome
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 cause
health
Use synonyms
 issues affecting the chest leading to diseases
such
Linking Words
 as pneumonia and flu.
for example
Linking Words
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research conducted
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 of Nairobi in 2019,revealed that 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of bike riders contracted chest complications during
cold
Add an article
the cold
show examples
 and rainy season.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of bicycles during unfavourable
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
 is a
health
Use synonyms
 risk in conclusion,while
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
 helps in physical activity and keeping in shape,it is dangerous riding during rainy and cold seasons,due to contracting chest problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
 in my opinion the pros
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the cons.
Submitted by maryoduor5030 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: