IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree?

#people #government #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
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These days, the environmental crisis has
been become
Change to the active voice
become
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 more and more concerned as the evidence of climate change attributed to a drastic rise in greenhouse gases emission, which one of the main causes is burning fossil
fuel
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 to serve the need of
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
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 of
cars
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. As the effort to reduce the anthropogenic, it may be a promising strategy to increase the
cost
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 of
fuel
Use synonyms
. As being a car user, I absolutely dismiss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 plan according to the following reasons, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will purpose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better alternative solutions for amelioration.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the drawbacks of augmentation in
Use synonyms
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 is escalating the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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. Due to increased daily payment,
people
Use synonyms
 try to save their money,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending it
with
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on
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 accessories,
dilicious
Correct your spelling
delicious
 foods, or new clothes. As the result, the
restarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
, stores, and niches markets face
the
Correct article usage
apply
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difficulty to make an income.
Secondly
Linking Words
, depression can be an impact of the high
fuel
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cost
Use synonyms
. When citizens can not afford
for
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apply
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the expensive
fuel
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 price, they need to sell their
cars
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 because they do not have enough money for paying.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a surge in
fuel
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cost
Use synonyms
 can bring about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adversity. There are solutions, which are more effective than increased
fuel
Use synonyms
's
cost
Use synonyms
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
 friendly, and can improve the well-being too.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in order to reduce
enormous
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the enormous
an enormous
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 amount of harmful gases released from tremendous
cars
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,
government
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the government
show examples
 should give priority to improving the
compentency
Correct your spelling
competency
competence
 of
cars
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, which should be eco friendly.
For example
Linking Words
, the electricity
comsuming
Correct your spelling
consuming
cars
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, without releasing Carbon dioxide should be promoted and sold
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 cheaper price than
fuel
Use synonyms
 consuming
cars
Use synonyms
 to lure
people
Use synonyms
 turn to
use
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, public transport should be developed to be more convenient and more comfortable.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 turn to
use
Use synonyms
 it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and reduce to
use
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 the private
cars
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,
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
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 the disastrous gases will be definitely decreased. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 imposing
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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of
Change preposition
on
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 gasoline can reduce the
use
Use synonyms
 of
Add an article
a car
the car
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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, it is not the best method because it contributes to the economic
collaspe
Correct your spelling
collapse
, and being stressed among
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are more promising strategies compared to increasing gasoline prices
such
Linking Words
 as
eco friendly
Add a hyphen
eco-friendly
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
, and developing public transport.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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