In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving exisitng public transport. Discuss both views and give your own pinion.

Whether or not the investment should be given to the new transportation one is an issue of interest. While some believe that the government should invest in new pathways of trains, others argue that the old public transport needs to be well-developed rather than the aforementioned one.
This
essay points out
rationales
Correct article usage
the rationales

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
behind the two contrasting views and reaches my own conclusion that both
former
Correct article usage
the former

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
and letter should be taken into consideration. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one

The word on doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
hand, it is undeniable that the majority of people always commute by
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
train due to both cost-effectiveness and how rapidly it provides.
As a result
, new pathways were enhanced in order to serve the exceeding used.
Moreover
, the impacts of
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains

It seems that train may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
on the environment are less severe than those of automobiles.
For instance
, trains not emitted significant
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels

It seems that level may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of carbon dioxide, leading to traffic congestion, as well as those
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
on roads.
On the other hand
, Improvement of remaining transportation should be prioritized
first
.
This
is due to the fact that not only the environmental issues but the poor health conditions
also
presented are far more necessary to be ignored.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
long-term pollution has brought about
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
traffic congestion which led to several problems to airway disorder and
environment
Add an article
the environment

The noun phrase environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
itself.
Additionally
, the investment in old ones is a permanent way to solve problems on the spot. In conclusion,
although
the new projects of railways line of fast train can provide many benefits to people, to deal with the existing public transport can
also
be the perfect solution to both environmental and healthcare issues as well. The government should
therefore
enhance the old ones as well as expanding the new route of trains so that it will lead to enduring solutions.
Submitted by palmynawa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Quick and easy way to check your IELTS writing task 1&2
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Improve your band scores without paying for expensive tutoring
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!