IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many families today, both parents work. Are there more advantages when a mother works than disadvantages?

#families #parents #work #mother #works
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to the rising cost of living,
both
Use synonyms
 the husband and the wife work in many families. Working
parents
Use synonyms
 are not able to spend enough time with their
children
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 development far exceed the advantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, when
both
Use synonyms
 partners continue to work after marriage, they can have financial stability in their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Indeed, they will be able to fulfil all the needs of the
children
Use synonyms
. Most couples in China,
for example
Linking Words
, continue working after marriage and provide quality life, especially quality education, to their
children
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 can purchase properties and save an enormous amount of money for their child’s future.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 can rest assured that financial prospects for their family will be better.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
both
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 are working, they will have to leave their young child with guardians or childcare centres.
As a result
Linking Words
,
mothers
Use synonyms
 will not learn about their child’s habits and behaviour.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 mostly learn bad habits when they are not under the supervision of their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they might continue to follow the bad habits, and
mothers
Use synonyms
 will not be aware of them.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is essential for
mothers
Use synonyms
 to be around their
children
Use synonyms
 to monitor their behaviour / behavioural patterns closely. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay argued that
although
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employed
mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
show examples
 can contribute financially to their family, they are better off looking after their
children
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the disadvantages of working
mothers
Use synonyms
 greatly outweigh the advantages.
Also
Linking Words
,
mothers
Use synonyms
 who are always around
children
Use synonyms
 can ensure that they are raised with the necessary attention and care.
Submitted by Tuly Saha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: