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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In the present age, whether
students
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 in the
university
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 should focus only on the main academic
subjects
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 in that field or not has sparked much debate. Some people assert that
students
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 have to learn about elective
subjects
Use synonyms
 as well,
whereas
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 others argue that they should spend all their time on learning main
subjects
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. Personally, I am in favour of the first view.
Body paragraph 1
There are several reasons that support the idea of why
students
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 at the college should learn additional
subjects
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, but the most important reason is that
students
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 can expand their
knowledge
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.
In other words
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, studying a main subject provides
students
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 with in-depth
knowledge
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 of one field.
while
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 additional
subjects
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 could cover a wide range of
knowledge
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.
Moreover
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,
students
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 at the
university
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 need to be more intelligent and flexible to learn a variety of
knowledge
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, which helps them to build a strong foundation.
In addition
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,
students
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 need to learn additional
subjects
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 to build a background in different fields, because they will need them in the future.
For instance
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,
students
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 who have a variety of
knowledge
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 in various fields
,
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apply
show examples
 become more confident about changing careers if they are not successful in their major field.
Body paragraph 2
I admit that
,
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apply
show examples
university
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students
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 already face enough stress from their main
subjects
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. So they may feel confused and nervous about losing marks in
subjects
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 they are not really interested in. Despite that, additional
subjects
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 help
students
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 become more professional, because they need to manage their time and give their attention to different topics at the same time. That means, they may have plenty of
knowledge
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 in different fields, so they become more confident and flexible with others` ideas.
Conclusion
In conclusion, studying elective
subjects
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besides
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 the main subject at the
university
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 could be confusing or overwhelming for some
students
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.
However
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, I believe that additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 are advisable for
students
Use synonyms
` future careers, for which we have plenty of evidence from our own experience.

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task response
Discuss the second view more fully. You say that main subjects can cause stress, but you do not clearly explain why some people think all time should go to the main subject. Add points such as: a degree needs deep skill, hard subjects need much practice, and too many classes may lower results.
task response
Make your own view clear in each main paragraph. The first body paragraph supports learning other subjects well. In the second, explain why the other view is understandable, then clearly say why you still think learning some other subjects is better.
task response
Use a more real and clear example. For example, an engineering student can study business or communication, which may help them work with clients or start a small company.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the second body paragraph mixes the other view with your own view. Start it with the reason for focusing only on the main subject, then use 'However' to give your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas more exact. For example, change 'That means, they may have plenty of knowledge' to 'As a result, they can use ideas from more than one subject.' This shows the result more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating 'additional subjects' and 'different fields' many times. You can also use 'other classes', 'electives', 'a wider range of subjects', or 'more areas of study'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence starts and punctuation. In 'one field. while additional subjects', use a capital letter after the full stop: 'One field, while other subjects...' Also avoid a comma after 'I admit that' when the sentence continues.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear personal view from the introduction to the conclusion.
task response
Your main reason is useful: learning other subjects can give students wider knowledge and may help them if they change jobs later.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main purpose and the conclusion gives a clear final answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as 'Moreover', 'In addition', 'For instance', and 'However' to connect many ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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