Does internet need to be controlled by the government?
In most countries around the world, the
Internet
is managed and inspected by the government
for many reasons such
as monitoring the activity of the population of a country. However
, some people might not consider this
a very ethical or correct management or activity of the government
. In my view, this
act could be helpful in many ways all around the world for safety reasons.
Mostly, people would not appreciate the government
taking control of the internet
as that would mean invasion
of privacy for some people and Correct article usage
an invasion
therefore
means most of the population's data would be exposed to the government
. That would make it easier for ad targeting or even making
it harder Wrong verb form
make
for talking
/Change preposition
to talk
engaging
in a conversation online without being exposed to the Wrong verb form
engage
government
however
it is very difficult for the government
to monitor everything considering a large variety of populations uses the internet
.
Secondly
, if the government
starts an action to take
assess the Verb problem
apply
internet
’s action, it might have many benefits such
as preventing illegal activities
. Many illegal activities
are carried out online which could be prevented if monitored and took
charge against Wrong verb form
taken
such
as money laundering can be executed online and would lead to multiple illegal activities
all over the country. If the government
takes charge against finding illegal activities
online it could be very useful to increase efficiency and decrease harmful online crime cases in the long term.
In conclusion, despite the invasion of privacy, I strongly feel that it would make a huge difference considering the benefits over the negative effects. The bans, 24/7 monitoring and more restrictions would be better for the whole population to be kept away from forbidden and impermissible actions over the worldwide internet
.Submitted by abdullah.asif619 on
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task response
The essay adequately responds to the prompt and presents clear comprehensive ideas. It, however, requires better organization and more relevant examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is evident, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger. The supported main points could be more developed through better cohesion and linking of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay showcases a decent range of vocabulary and uses language accurately. However, there is room for improvement in using more precise and appropriate vocabulary to convey the arguments effectively.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is wide and most sentences are well-constructed. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and usage of complex grammatical structures that need attention.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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