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Writing Samples
Band 3

One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. The developed nations in the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#world #refugees #nations
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Firstly
Linking Words
,
refugees
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 are people who escaped from their own
countries
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 by wars and religious violence.
As a result
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, major nations in the world should help them more. Developed
countries
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 are having better health and better refugee camps than developing
countries
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.
This
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 can ensure the benefit of the
refugees
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 and can support more of their life.
In addition
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, taking in more
refugees
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 can have a positive effect on the country. They can become
one of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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members of society, which allows them to get jobs and education.
Then
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 the country can become productive.
However
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accepting too many will cause an issue. The population of the
refugees
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 never stops. Developed
countries
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 cannot give too much space and take care of them. Actually, solving the causes of being
refugees
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 is a better way than accepting
refugees
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 to major nations. So that no more
refugees
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 will increase and the developed
countries
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 do not have to face hardship. In conclusion,
personally
Add a comma
,personally
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 I agree
to
Change preposition
with
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taking
Change the verb form
take
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 more
refugees
Use synonyms
 to developed
countries
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, but I do not agree fully. There is a better solution,
that is
Linking Words
 to solve the causes of being
refugees
Use synonyms
.
This
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 can stop increasing the number and major nations do not have to get into trouble.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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