One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. The developed nations in the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#world #refugees #nations

Firstly

refugees

are people who escaped from their own

countries

by wars and religious violence.

As a result

, major nations in the world should help them more. Developed

countries

are having better health and better refugee camps than developing

countries

This

can ensure the benefit of the

refugees

and can support more of their life.

In addition

, taking in more

refugees

can have a positive effect on the country. They can become

one of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

members of society, which allows them to get jobs and education.

Then

the country can become productive.

However

Change preposition

apply

show examples

accepting too many will cause an issue. The population of the

refugees

never stops. Developed

countries

cannot give too much space and take care of them. Actually, solving the causes of being

refugees

is a better way than accepting

refugees

to major nations. So that no more

refugees

will increase and the developed

countries

do not have to face hardship. In conclusion,

personally

Add a comma

,personally

show examples

I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

taking

Change the verb form

take

show examples

refugees

to developed

countries

, but I do not agree fully. There is a better solution,

that is

to solve the causes of being

refugees

This

can stop increasing the number and major nations do not have to get into trouble.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Tue Aug 31 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

202 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. The developed nations in the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Should animals be used in testing new drugs and procedures?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that the olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. others say the olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.