Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Most
people
think that superstars are paid too much
then
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than
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general job holders. I will discuss
about
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apply
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it, and give my view.
Firstly
, Famous personalities have
high
Correct word choice
a higher
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pay scale
then
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than
show examples
government and private job holders. It is because they are surrounded by
people
everywhere and often told that they
donot
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do not
have
private
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a private
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life. But I think they should not be paid
such
massive
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a massive
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amount. More than celebrities, government workers are most important, because they serve
to
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apply
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the nation.
This employees
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This employee
These employees
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will eventually have more stress than a film
start
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star
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or any well-known personalities.
For example
, Police
officer
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officers
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have much more stressful
day
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days
show examples
when compared to
the
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apply
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superstars or
film makers
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film-makers
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. As the
officer
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officer's
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responsibility is
also
to protect
this
celebrates
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celebration
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.
Secondly
,
Dispite
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despite
of
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apply
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having
such
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
amount, some stars will waste that money only for their lavish being but they
donot
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do not
help poor
people
. They
also
do add promotions in which they will get
lot
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a lot
show examples
of money.
While
a direct impact will be on our country with government employees. So they are the
one
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ones
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who should be benefited
first,
than
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then
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teacher
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teachers
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who are strong pillars of student's education.
This
Change the determiner
This person
These people
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people
should have
main
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the main
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priority.
For example
, without a teacher
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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no
achivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
and development in the country,
wheras
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whereas
with film stars there is no difference
whether
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in whether
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they are present or not. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
are paid too much. it appears to me that it is totally absurd to pay enormous salaries for personalities whose jobs do not improve our quality of life on a daily basis.
Submitted by tassajay93 on

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task response
Your introduction lacks a clear opinion statement. Make sure to clearly present your opinion on whether you agree or disagree with the given statement
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include a clear introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lucrative
  • revenue
  • sponsorships
  • merchandise
  • career longevity
  • market demand
  • economic contribution
  • role models
  • influence
  • entertainment industry
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