Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

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Most
people
Use synonyms
think that superstars are paid too much
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then
Correct your spelling
than
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general job holders. I will discuss
about
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apply
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it, and give my view.
Firstly
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, Famous personalities have
high
Correct word choice
a higher
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pay scale
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then
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than
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government and private job holders. It is because they are surrounded by
people
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everywhere and often told that they
donot
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do not
have
private
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a private
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life. But I think they should not be paid
such
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massive
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a massive
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amount. More than celebrities, government workers are most important, because they serve
to
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apply
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the nation.
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This employees
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This employee
These employees
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will eventually have more stress than a film
start
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star
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or any well-known personalities.
For example
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, Police
officer
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officers
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have much more stressful
day
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days
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when compared to
the
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apply
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superstars or
film makers
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film-makers
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. As the
officer
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officer's
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responsibility is
also
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to protect
this
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celebrates
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celebration
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.
Secondly
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,
Dispite
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despite
of
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apply
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having
such
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huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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amount, some stars will waste that money only for their lavish being but they
donot
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do not
help poor
people
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. They
also
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do add promotions in which they will get
lot
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a lot
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of money.
While
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a direct impact will be on our country with government employees. So they are the
one
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ones
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who should be benefited
first,
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than
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then
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teacher
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teachers
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who are strong pillars of student's education.
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This
Change the determiner
This person
These people
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people
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should have
main
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the main
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priority.
For example
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, without a teacher
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
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are
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no
achivements
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achievements
achievement
and development in the country,
wheras
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whereas
with film stars there is no difference
whether
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in whether
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they are present or not. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
celebrites
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celebrities
are paid too much. it appears to me that it is totally absurd to pay enormous salaries for personalities whose jobs do not improve our quality of life on a daily basis.
Submitted by tassajay93 on

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task response
Your introduction lacks a clear opinion statement. Make sure to clearly present your opinion on whether you agree or disagree with the given statement
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include a clear introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lucrative
  • revenue
  • sponsorships
  • merchandise
  • career longevity
  • market demand
  • economic contribution
  • role models
  • influence
  • entertainment industry
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