The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, there has been an unprecedented surge in public financial awareness, sparking extensive discussions regarding the providers of pensions. Some advocate that the
government
Use synonyms
have the accountability to offer retirees financial and medical support,
while
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others contend that citizens should be encouraged to prepare money to look after themselves particularly when they are old. From my perspective,
although
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embracing the actions to save funds by folks brings several potential merits, it seems that investments from the
government
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are more crucial for those who encounter
retirement
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. One compelling argument in favour of the collection manners of citizens is that their own properties provide them with a sense of safety and stability. Individuals saving money generally can accumulate substantial personal wealth until the old times, guaranteeing their stable and premium life quality after
retirement
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.
For example
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, when elderly people suffer from health problems including respiratory diseases
such
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as asthma and bronchitis, plentiful money accumulation means advanced medical treatments and medicines, thereby contributing to extending their lifespans.
Furthermore
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, for those with a single family member, saved funds can
also
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help reduce the burden on their children and avoid struggling with lending from relatives and intimate friends, or even debts.
Nevertheless
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, in my opinion, the efforts from the
government
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play a more pivotal role in tackling these pressing issues after citizens retire from their positions.
First,
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the
government
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have the obligation to rationally distribute social resources and ensure individual well-being.
Second,
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compared to individual savings, the
government
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own significant financial prowess based on numerous taxes from residents. These investments into the
retirement
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realm facilitate the establishment of robust regulatory frameworks, ultimately improving people's living and healthcare experiences.
For instance
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, countries like Germany and Sweden, with comprehensive pension policies from the governments, have witnessed the potential improvement of individual lives. In conclusion, despite recognizing the profound significance of private savings after
retirement
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, I once again reaffirm my viewpoint that investments from the
government
Use synonyms
should be encouraged.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis statement.
task achievement
Try to balance both views more equally before clearly stating your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented and maintain a clear focus on the task.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples which help to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and flow of information is clear, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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