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Writing Samples
Band 6

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#responsibility #children #mother #father
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Raising
children
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 should be equally shared between
parents
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. I completely agree that father and mother are having the same degree of burden for it as not only it can prevent intense stress to
one
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 of them but
also
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children
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 with balanced care will feel more love.
Firstly
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, task-related to
children
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 needs, especially the young
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 are not simple and it often triggers stress for adults. As a parent, they must ensure their
children
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 get the best care of their needs.
This
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 pressuring condition surely force
parents
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 to put a maximum effort to fulfil it.
Hence
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, having a partner that willing to share that responsibility is a big relief. Having known that their spouse is always ready to help will affect directly
to
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apply
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one
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's mental condition in a positive way.
Therefore
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, working together as a partner is
one
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 effective way to overcome that pressuring moment. Another point to consider is that
by
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apply
show examples
caring for the
children
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 with the same level of love from mother and father, it will affect their
children
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 perception of love. If
one
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 side is heavily involved with the responsible task related to
children
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 need, it could make the boy or girl feel their
parents
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 do not have the same level of affection towards them.
Furthermore
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, they might feel some distance in terms of feeling with the person that rarely interacts with them even though the person is his/her own parent.
Thus
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, having an equal responsibility between men and women is important for the
children
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. To conclude, working together as a team and divide the responsibility with a reasonable same amount is a good thing for a family. It can prevent the stressful condition for
parents
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 and concurrently it create good connection with the
children
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.
Submitted by muhamad.herwindo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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