IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people have the opinion that big shopping malls are expensive places as they offer high costs for the products which can be bought at much cheaper prices from local shops. On the other hand, some people think that such malls are absolutely the best places to visit for shopping. Discuss both the opinions and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #malls #places #offer #costs #products #prices #shops #hand #visit
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One part of our society believes that mega malls are looting the end-users by offering
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
products
 at high prices which are available at cheaper rates in the community markets, whereas, few are of the opinion that big shopping complexes are the appropriate place to buy anything. I am strongly in the favour of
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
 statement, as there is a huge difference in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scenarios.
Firstly
, we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
positives of shopping in malls and
secondly
, we will explain
about
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apply
show examples
the problems that
persists
Change the verb form
persist
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
products
 available in local markets.
To begin
 with,
quality
 and
after sale
Add a hyphen
after-sale
show examples
services
 are the top most
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
 of every individual while buying a
product
. Every branded outlet provides alteration
services
 as well as
colour
Add an article
a colour
the colour
show examples
 warranty of the
product
 that they
sale
Replace the word
sell
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. These benefits
also
 carry some costs, which certainly these brands
inclide
Correct your spelling
include
included
 in the
product
 cost. To illustrate, Levi's jeans
is
Change the verb form
are
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 available at Rs. 2500 but it provides
replacement
Correct article usage
a replacement
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 warranty for 6 months, which a society store cannot offer.
Thus
, it is evident that it's not only the
product
 which we are buying from the large stores
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but the intangible
services
 are
also
 annexed to it.
On the other hand
, buying a
low
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
quality
product
 at
slashed
Add an article
a slashed
the slashed
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 price from a street market is illogical if that
product
 does not work after few days.
For example
, I bought a juicer from a street vendor of Rs. 200 without
warranty
Correct article usage
a warranty
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 which stopped working after 10 days.
Additionally
, these appliances
carries
Change the verb form
carry
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 a risk of fire while using, as these are not tried and tested before being sold
,
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apply
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 since these are
manufactued
Correct your spelling
manufactured
 by small vendors.
Therefore
, we can say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is a big gap between the ISI marked
products
 available in reputed stores as compared to the ill
quality
products
 available at discounted prices. To recapitulate, it is of no doubt that prices of articles in big stores are high as compared to the community shops, but it
also
constitues
Correct your spelling
constitutes
 better
quality
,
services
 and safety as well which should be the
first
 priority of every person before purchasing anything.
Submitted by jatinkochar1993 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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