IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#technologies #lives #consumers
Shopping is one of the most crucial parts of
people
's lives. If a question about shopping transformation is addressed, it will be challenging for us to make a decision on
this
 controversial issue. Some
people
 are a firm
believer
Fix the agreement mistake
believers
show examples
 in online shopping thanks to convenience. Others,
however
, have always shown intense devotion to conservative shopping due to the guarantee.
This
 essay agrees with the innovation of online shopping transforms
people
 behaviour because they are several benefits
such
 as saving
time
 and comparing retail price. The
first
 and most obvious reason for new ways for shopping is spending
time less
Correct your spelling
timeless
show examples
 than traditional shopping. The rationale behind
this
 is the old tradition of shopping, customers have to spend most of the
time
 on transportation due to the traffic congestion in the city. The new innovation called e-commerce solves
this
 problem as can be seen in the growth of e-commerce companies
such
 as lazada or
shopee
Correct your spelling
shoppe
. These applications reduce
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 period which customers just only click and collect the
product
 in front of their homes. Another reason why
people
 use online shopping is the technology that can compare the item. The key information before a customer decided to purchase something
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 quality and price. The eCommerce platform will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
room for purchaser's review the experience and the
product
 quality that can help the buyer easily to make a
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
.
Moreover
, the
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
eCommerce
e-commerce
 platform has many suppliers
provided
Correct pronoun usage
that provided
show examples
 the same
product
 at different prices so customers will select by using
this
 technology to compare the
product
. In conclusion,
people
trend
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to use e-commerce by sitting at home and shopping more than the old way. From my perspective, the innovation changed consumer behaviours because
people
 spend less
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping and customer can compare the price
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different platforms.
Submitted by sahapol.rs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transforming
  • consumers
  • buying and selling
  • new technologies
  • revolutionized
  • consumer experience
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • range of options
  • mobile payment systems
  • transactions
  • challenges
What to do next:
Look at other essays: