IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #man #first #moon #people #space #research #waste #money
More than 40 years ago
first
 steps on the moon were taken by a human being. Some people believe, that
money
 invested into the research of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
money
 wasted. I agree with
this
 statement only partly and in the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I would like to describe why. On the one hand,
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
 is facing a plethora of serious problems and different kinds of challenges, which should be funded by governments and large organizations.
For instance
, the scarcity of food in non-developed countries leads to thousands of deaths daily.
Furthermore
, we are
also
 facing
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 environmental crisis and it should be an absolute priority to preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mother Earth for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations. To put it in
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
show examples
, I think, that we should invest
vast
Add an article
the vast
show examples
 majority of our
money
 to protect the planet we are living on.
On the other hand
, the universe has fascinated millions of people over the centuries. It is completely understandable, that humans, as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
curious living creatures want to explore everything
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 has to offer, but it costs a lot of
money
 and sometimes even human lives. Governments of developed countries invested enormous sums of
money
 were put into building
space
 ships in the past 50 years, but there were some catastrophes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 opened the eyes of
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public. In conclusion, I believe, that funding of
space
 research should be limited,
howewer
Correct your spelling
however
 it should not be banned completely. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 a compromise should be found between funding the issues we are facing and the exploration of
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
.
Submitted by kmiksikova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: