IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #man #first #moon #people #space #research #waste #money
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More than 40 years ago
first
Linking Words
 steps on the moon were taken by a human being. Some people believe, that
money
Use synonyms
 invested into the research of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 wasted. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement only partly and in the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I would like to describe why. On the one hand,
Correct your spelling
humankind
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human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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 is facing a plethora of serious problems and different kinds of challenges, which should be funded by governments and large organizations.
For instance
Linking Words
, the scarcity of food in non-developed countries leads to thousands of deaths daily.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we are
also
Linking Words
 facing
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 environmental crisis and it should be an absolute priority to preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mother Earth for
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations. To put it in
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
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, I think, that we should invest
vast
Add an article
the vast
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 majority of our
money
Use synonyms
 to protect the planet we are living on.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the universe has fascinated millions of people over the centuries. It is completely understandable, that humans, as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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curious living creatures want to explore everything
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 has to offer, but it costs a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 and sometimes even human lives. Governments of developed countries invested enormous sums of
money
Use synonyms
 were put into building
space
Use synonyms
 ships in the past 50 years, but there were some catastrophes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 opened the eyes of
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public. In conclusion, I believe, that funding of
space
Use synonyms
 research should be limited,
howewer
Correct your spelling
however
 it should not be banned completely. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 a compromise should be found between funding the issues we are facing and the exploration of
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
.
Submitted by kmiksikova on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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