IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that with the development of modern technology, printed books, newspapers and magazines lose their importance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is an argument that traditional means of media
such
Linking Words
 as paper
books
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,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
magazines
Use synonyms
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 less or no significance in the modern world
due to
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 the prevalence of digital-based
forms
Use synonyms
 of reading. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
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 point of view. I hold a firm belief that advanced technologies have outweighed the role of traditional
books
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,
newspapers
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 and
magazines
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 on account of several reasons. The first one is because compared with conventional
forms
Use synonyms
 of reading, e-
books
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 and online press,
for instance
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, are by far more convenient and free of charge. In fact, with a simple click, people can have access to a huge number of news websites on the Internet to get updated about current affairs or read
books
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 for pleasure.
In addition
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, another explanation for people’s
less
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lower
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 preference for
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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printed ones is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 the paper quality of
books
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 and
newspapers
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 can degrade and turn
into
Change preposition
apply
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yellow with time, making people find these items ineligible and frustrating when reading them after a long time despite many attempts to store and maintain them carefully. Others argue that printed
books
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,
newspapers
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 and
magazines
Use synonyms
 still play a vital role in a technologically-driven society since they believe that these traditional
forms
Use synonyms
 can surpass the technological ones in terms of reliability and authenticity. Having said that, I am still more convinced that it is justifiable in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain cases, and in general, there is no doubt that the roles of conventional
forms
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 are fading.
Besides
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, holding a widespread distrust about the reliable degree of Internet-based platforms is unreasonable as these days, many websites or online
newspapers
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 are strictly scrutinized before being published. People can get authentic and real news
as well as
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 be protected from false information if they access official platforms. In conclusion, because of the aforementioned reasons, I completely support the view that printed
books
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,
newspapers
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 and
magazines
Use synonyms
 are becoming less important when modern technologies are constantly developing.

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coherence cohesion
You should enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that your paragraphs each focus on a single main idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth and clear.
coherence cohesion
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, work on making them more impactful by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and effectively summarizing your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points could be better supported with more specific examples and evidence. Use data, research findings, or more detailed anecdotes to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The response completes the task by addressing the prompt; however, you could strengthen your essay by expanding the discussion and adding more nuanced arguments.
task achievement
You have conveyed clear and comprehensive ideas, but to enhance your score, ensure that each paragraph builds on the previous one and that all ideas are fully developed and expanded.
task achievement
You need to include more relevant and specific examples to support your claims and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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