All over the world scientists are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #scientists #obesity #children #adults #rise

Being overweight can be considered as serious health and eventually become the cause of serious disease. As per the recent study, there is a 20% increase in patients suffering from illnesses

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are caused due to obesity. In

this

essay, we will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

causes and ways to curtail

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Nowadays, a large number of

people

are leading a sedentary lifestyle which is considered as one of the major reasons for it.Notwithstanding, technological advancement comes with these pros and cons as

such

we can notice

people

getting fatter in urban areas as compared to rural.

For example

people

don't walk while travelling, long working hours on the computer, Social media

also

contributes to

this

cause as

people

do get fascinated by misleading ads on food-related items like fitness drinks which is nothing but sugar ,

for example

,milo.

Such

unhealthy eating habits especially among the younger generation is a serious matter which needs to be tackled. Many of us may not be aware that it contains 80% sugar which is not healthy at all. But 90% of parents believe that Milo is a healthy drink.

Likewise

, there are many other products consuming which on daily basis can be harmful. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we all should play an integral part in creating and spreading health awareness together with fitness authorities.

Firstly

, the government should identify unhealthy products and ban

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

production.

Secondly

, they should promote jogging or walk by building more parks or gyms within residential vicinity ,

also

they should encourage cooperate to organise health events and motivate employees to participate in

such

activities. With these initiatives , we should be able to give a better ecosystem to our society and help on controlling

people

to gain more weight unnecessarily .

Submitted by umapati.social on Wed Sep 01 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?
In several nations, imprisonment is witnessed as a better solution to deter crimes, but other people strongly advocate that education systems and job training are needed to prevent lawless cases. I partly agree with both viewpoints. The following paragraphs will highlight my personal perspective.
5
band
Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Spending time on TV, video and online games are a topic of considerable debate. While some people argue that it has positive impact, others claim that it has more devastating influence on their growth where i staugly believe. This essay will eloborate both views and my opinione with relevant examples.
5.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
In some countries, there is a growing interest among people in tracing the history of their homes. I think they research this for many reasons, perhaps out of interest, or to find a sense of connection. For help with finding answers, they should turn to the seniors in their neighborhoods.
7.5
band
Many countries are experiencing serious problems with their environment, with pollution of their land, water, and air. What are these problems and how might they be reduced?
Environmental problems, including land, water, and air pollution, have become increasingly severe in many countries around the world. These issues pose a gigantic threat to our health, ecosystems, and the future of our planet. This article will delve into the specific problems related to land, water, and air pollution and explore some potential solutions to combat these pressing challenges.
9
band
Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can be done to help the poor?
The fact that every country has poor people is very disheartening. Regardless, every country has different ways of dealing with the impoverished. Below are some of the reasons that cause poverty and things that need to be done to help the needy.

All over the world scientists are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

Many countries are experiencing serious problems with their environment, with pollution of their land, water, and air. What are these problems and how might they be reduced?

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can be done to help the poor?