All over the world scientists are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Being overweight can be considered as serious health and eventually become the cause of serious disease. As per the recent study, there is a 20% increase in patients suffering from illnesses
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
are caused due to obesity. In
this
essay, we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
causes and ways to curtail
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Nowadays, a large number of
people
are leading a sedentary lifestyle which is considered as one of the major reasons for it.Notwithstanding, technological advancement comes with these pros and cons as
such
we can notice
people
getting fatter in urban areas as compared to rural.
For example
,
people
don't walk while travelling, long working hours on the computer, Social media
also
contributes to
this
cause as
people
do get fascinated by misleading ads on food-related items like fitness drinks which is nothing but sugar ,
for example
,milo.
Such
unhealthy eating habits especially among the younger generation is a serious matter which needs to be tackled. Many of us may not be aware that it contains 80% sugar which is not healthy at all. But 90% of parents believe that Milo is a healthy drink.
Likewise
, there are many other products consuming which on daily basis can be harmful. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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we all should play an integral part in creating and spreading health awareness together with fitness authorities.
Firstly
, the government should identify unhealthy products and ban
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
production.
Secondly
, they should promote jogging or walk by building more parks or gyms within residential vicinity ,
also
they should encourage cooperate to organise health events and motivate employees to participate in
such
activities. With these initiatives , we should be able to give a better ecosystem to our society and help on controlling
people
to gain more weight unnecessarily .
Submitted by umapati.social on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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