The most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Tere
Correct your spelling
There
have
been vast advances in the field of Change the verb form
has
science
which can affect most aspects of human life. Many believe that the ultimate goal of science
must be to help make people
lives better. Change noun form
people's
Therefore
, in this
essay
I am going to explain my opinion regarding Add a comma
essay,
this
topic.
I would like to start of
with one of the most important improvements in the medical field. Replace the word
off
For instance
, I want to mention anesthesiology specifically which has been
introduced to Wrong verb form
was
this
field 150 years ago to allow operations more tolerable to
people who have to undergo Change preposition
for
a
surgery. Practically, there had been no surgery before Correct article usage
apply
anesthesia
was introduced and many patients were dying from Change the spelling
anaesthesia
the
ailments which needed more invasive interventions like Correct article usage
apply
a
simple Correct article usage
apply
apendisitis
. Correct your spelling
appendicitis
Therefore
, I believe that anesthesiology is a milestone which changed human lives to a much better one.
On the other hand
, science
has the potential to be misused. It is true that everyrhing
has two sides so, Correct your spelling
everything
science
can make life better or at the same time destroy it. The invention of atomic
bomb is one of the most significant examples. Add an article
the atomic
an atomic
This
invention caused huge death
and long-term Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
damades
to two cities in Japan during Correct your spelling
damage
damages
world war
. Correct your spelling
World War
Accordingly
, the way human beings use science
determin
if it has a positive or negative impact on human lives.
To summarize, based on what is mentioned above, Correct your spelling
determines
science
as
many other fields can have benefits or drawbacks based on how it is applied. But in my opinion, the advantages Change preposition
like
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
it's
disadvantages if it uses wisely.Replace the word
its
Submitted by bryan.dasco on
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Grammar & Accuracy
Ensure consistent use of past and present tenses according to the context. For example, 'Tere have been' should be 'There have been,' and the transition between past events and present implications could be smoother.
Paragraphing & Linking
To enhance coherence, strive for a seamless flow between paragraphs. The introduction of contrasting viewpoints can be made smoother with phrases like 'However,' or 'On the contrary,' before presenting opposing arguments.
Spelling
Review and correct minor spelling errors, like 'anesthesiology' (correct, but check consistency), 'everyrhing' to 'everything,' and 'apendisitis' to 'appendicitis' for improved clarity and professionalism.
While the conclusion summarises the essay well, rephrasing to reduce repetition of 'based on what is mentioned above' might make it stronger. Try starting with 'In conclusion, considering the arguments presented, it's evident that...','type':'Conclusion
Engagement with Topic
The essay effectively engages with the statement, presenting a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative impacts of science on human lives.
Use of Examples
Use of specific examples, such as anesthesiology and the atomic bomb, effectively supports your main points and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite