Some people believe teachers should have the final say about children’s education, while others believe parents should make these decisions. Discuss both sides.

#people #teachers #children’s #education #parents #decisions

It is often argued that

teachers

should make the

last

decision about the

education

of the children,

while

many people believe that these decisions should be made by children’s

parents

This

essay will discuss both sides of the argument and

then

I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, the reasons why

teachers

have a good position to make decisions for their children. First of all, the

teachers

can improve the

education

of their juniors. They are people who are near the students in the school every day. They know clearly about the individual behaviour and weak points of their own pupil.

That is

why the professor can easily develop the student’s

education

and give a chance for useful learning. Another reason is that the lecturer can make the correct arrangement. They have lots of experience in their field and they know about the result of decisions.

For instance

, they provide a lot of advice for the students about learning skills.

Then

, the pupil prefers to follow their advice.

On the other hand

, it is considered that

parents

can

also

suggest and make a great decision for their young.

Firstly

, they have a strong connection and adore the child.

Although

most babies in kindergarten do not follow the suggestion of the

teachers

, they understand and follow the parent's speech.

Moreover

, the parent is the key to the children’s

succession

Replace the word

success

show examples

in training because they give a lot of opportunities for their young and sometimes they make an effective plan

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

education

For example

, my mom gave my brother the chance to study abroad,

Correct word choice

so he

show examples

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

find more experience and

Correct article usage

show examples

greater work-life than in my country. In conclusion, the

teachers

help their students to enhance their schooling in the school but the

parents

can provide opportunities for children’s

education

. I believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents

can make plans and better choices for their children.

Submitted by Marker & Kaohom on Wed Sep 01 2021

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coherence cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas logically. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion summarize the main points effectively. Make sure to fully address all aspects of the task prompt and provide specific and relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

Overall, you have addressed the task prompt and presented clear ideas. However, to improve task achievement, ensure that your response is more comprehensive and that you provide specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe teachers should have the final say about children’s education, while others believe parents should make these decisions. Discuss both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many animals are endangered in the environment. Some people argue that we should only protect those endangered animals that are useful to human. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Taking professional and personal risks is quite necessary for many individuals. I firmly believe that the profits of being risky such as success and an interesting life outweigh any drawbacks.

Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?