IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
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Nowadays, Advertisement plays an important role in marketing ways. Some
people
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 perceive that advertising is successful in influencing
people
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 for commercial purposes.
On the contrary
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, others believe that advertising cannot encourage them to buy advertising
products
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.
This
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 essay elaborates the rationales behind these two opposing aspects in greater depth and expresses my personal stance on the aforementioned issue. On the one hand, the Advertising industry is growing significantly at the present. Ample evidence for
this
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 is that advertisements are surrounding our daily life which is on televisions, signs beside roads, and social networks. It is because of a variety of reasons. Some
people
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 trust the
ads
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 because they perceive that reviews of
products
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 in
ads
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 are true.
In addition
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, many companies try to use advertisements and promotions for increasing their sales.
Therefore
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, the influence of advertising can affect decision’s
people
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 about buying
products
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.
On the other hand
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, Advertising cannot persuade many
people
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 to buy something.
This
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 is due to a wide range of reasons. Some think that advertisements deceive them by exaggerated properties of
products
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.
For instance
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, the advertising of cosmetic
products
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 claims that
this
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 product can make your skin bright and white in three days.
Conversely
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, in
fact
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,fact
show examples
that is
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 impossible to change your skin colour in three days.
Furthermore
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, advertising makes
people
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 feel annoying them because it interrupts their enjoyment.
For example
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, when
people
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 enjoy their online videos the
ads
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 notices on their screen and disturb them. To summarize, in spite of unaccepting
people
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, the number of advertising increases swiftly.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should be aware of the power of
ads
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 and outweigh your decision rather than the persuading advertisement.
Submitted by nene8882547 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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