It is more important forschool children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#forschool #children #history #world

It is true that some commentators argue that it is more necessary for

children

study

local

history

than the

history

of the

world

. While I agree that school

children

should learn about local

history

, I believe that schools should

study

the

history

of the

world

. On the one hand, it is more significant for

children

study

local

history

Firstly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

knowing about the past of their country forms a sense of belonging and pride in each child.

For example

, when

children

learn about how their earlier generations fought and made sacrifices for their freedom of the country, they will appreciate the value of life and liberty they enjoy today.

Secondly

, as youngsters have a deep understanding of the origins and core values of their nation, they will be motivated to carry on the best customs for generations to come.

On the other hand

, schoolchildren should be encouraged to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge of the

history

of the

world

. The current trend towards globalisation

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

it more necessary for pupils to know about ethnic groups and other cultures.

This

will form a mutual understanding of the origins and

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

of countries over the

world

. Another important factor is that a

study

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world

history

provides the youngster with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

overview of the inter-relation of nations and how international historical events,

such

as colonisation, shaped contemporary society. In conclusion, it is equally important for school boys and school girls to

study

local

history

as well as

world

history

Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on Thu Sep 02 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is more important forschool children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many University students live with their families, while others live away from home because their Universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. Agree or disagree?