Scientist and technology exparts seem to be more valued by modern world than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

At present, our planet
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
more value to scientist and
technology
exparts
Correct your spelling
experts
rather than
musicians
and
artists
. I totally agree with
this
idea. In
this
essay,
firstly
I will discuss why
scientists
and
technology
exparts
Correct your spelling
experts
should
recived
Correct your spelling
received
receive
more value and
secondly
I will explore the reasons why
musicians
and
artists
are less important for
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era.
To begin
with, now
people
are more dependent on
scientists
and
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
exparts
Correct your spelling
experts
because
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
group of
people
invented many
life
changeing
Correct your spelling
changing
invention
Change to a plural noun
inventions
show examples
for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
For example
, there is a great influence of
scientists
in medical science. We
are now get
Change the verb form
are now getting
show examples
proper medical treatment because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medical
secientist
Correct your spelling
scientist
scientists
developped
Correct your spelling
developed
lots of useful medicine.
Similarly
,
technology
is a key part of our
life
. It is
amke
Correct your spelling
make
our
life
so easy and dramatic.
For instance
, we can
easilly
Correct your spelling
easily
travel
any where
Join the words
anywhere
show examples
by plane or others transport. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
we are able to
conncet
Correct your spelling
connect
with
any
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the internet. Another
life
changeing
Correct your spelling
changing
technology
is
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
. It makes our
life
so easy.Like we can
did
Change the verb form
do
show examples
several works by it from our living space
On the other hand
,
musicians
and
artists
have less influence on our daily
life
. They only give entertainment. Without
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a lot of
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
of
entertainmentin
Correct your spelling
entertainment in
entertainment
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
planet
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
through
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thechnology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
For example
,
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
people
used to play mobile and computer games for fun. Sometimes
people
prefer to travel
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
relax
Change the verb form
relaxing
show examples
.
Although
,
musicians
and
artists
mirror
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our culture. In
colclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
scientists
and
technology
exparts
Correct your spelling
experts
recived
Correct your spelling
received
more value than
musicians
and
artists
because of some valuable
resaon
Correct your spelling
reason
.
Submitted by rasel_beck on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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