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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on the society?

#people #time #home #effects #individuals #society
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In the present
generation
Add a comma
,generation
show examples
 people mitigate spending
time
Use synonyms
 in the
home
Use synonyms
 and causes
impact
Add an article
an impact
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 on a person or community.In the following
paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
show examples
 I intend to divulge the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the situations are sports and friends. The majority of
population
Add an article
the population
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interested
Add a missing verb
is interested
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 in different sports and they spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 playing.By these
conditions
Add a comma
,conditions
show examples
 they tend to have less
pace
Correct your spelling
space
show examples
 to spend in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
.The young generation after school they will try to explore different activities
such
Linking Words
 as movies,
emusment
Correct your spelling
amusement
 parks and online games.The teenagers spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 in the gaming
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and they
consequently
Linking Words
 reach their
home
Use synonyms
 for bedtime.
Forinstance
Correct your spelling
For instance
,according to a survey around 30
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of youth play
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online platforms for 6 hours on
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 average per day.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 professional situations play
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 major role in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 condition because people working for 8 hours a day in the office could be a potential
reasons
Correct the article-noun agreement
reason
show examples
.After hard work in
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
job
Add a comma
,job
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 they will have few hours to spend in the
home
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,It is irrefutable that spending less moment in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
 could lead to
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
 on personal life and society.If parents are working for all day and they reach
home
Use synonyms
 after dark
consequently
Linking Words
 they direct have
time
Use synonyms
 to
time
Use synonyms
 to care with their kids which around he determinate to their personal bond between family.
moreover
Linking Words
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 face with friends.but if it has
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 influence on them can be
subsequently
Linking Words
 harmful to the community. To conclude,there are certain reasons populace having less
time
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 and that
cause effect
Add a hyphen
cause-effect
show examples
 on their personal relationship with family and in specific conditions for the young would lead to damage to the society.
Submitted by chinnublaster99 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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