IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this so? what can be done about this problem?

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Food
Use synonyms
 has
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role to survive in
this
Linking Words
 world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
discussed
Change the verb form
discuss
show examples
 the main causes and the possible solutions. On the one hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have no stable jobs to provide
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
 the needs of their family
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis.
For example
Linking Words
, our
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 earned not so much every month because the
Correct your spelling
breadwinner
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bread winner
Correct your spelling
breadwinner
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 of the family working in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
construction. Aside
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 they
also
Linking Words
 need to pay bills and other stuff
that is
Linking Words
 why most of the time they don'
t
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 have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to buy healthy foods. They always eat instant
food
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 which is not appropriate because they have children who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 studying and need to eat properly.
This
Linking Words
 way, I always saw those
childs
Correct your spelling
child
 begging for
food
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their playmates
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 they have better
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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.
Next
Linking Words
, lack of
education
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. In my country a
lot
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 of unwanted pregnancies happening recently, because their parents are not guiding them the way
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be. Because of that, early
pregancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 occurs and
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 youngsters are the victims who don'
t
Use synonyms
 have work yet or either studying.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their
future
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 children will suffer
also
Linking Words
 and die without having appropriate
nutrinions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritions
 because their parents have no idea where to get enough
money
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 for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our government's should provide a
lot
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 of jobs to help a
lot
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 of people to have work and not to do crimes just to
earned
Change the form of the verb
earn
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money
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 parents should educate their children especially teenagers to have ideas about the
future
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 if they don'
t
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finished
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finish
show examples
 their
education
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. One writer said
,
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apply
show examples
education
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 is the key to success. If we have a degree and earn a
lot
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 of
money
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 in the
future
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. We can build a business that can help a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people who doesn'
t
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 have work. So, they can provide
food
Use synonyms
 and better life to their families. To sum up, jobs and
education
Use synonyms
 will be a great helped to everyone to have a stable life and have a better
future
Use synonyms
.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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