Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness others however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

property brings joy in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people’s lives in many ways. It depends upon a personal choice.
However
, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that they can spend wealth on their personal enhancement while others perceive that more ways to spend it.
This
essay will discuss both views in detail and provide my opinion. Apparently, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several reasons that make a section of people advocate that spending their wealth on personal grooming will enhance their personality.
Additionally
, they perceive present trend can be followed by good dressing sense and high-priced beauty products. They believe that, if they will not usage beauty products, they are called outdated.
For instance
, many actresses spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
on their garments, cosmetics to show their status.
Furthermore
, mostly Indian women have brown skin. It’s a
god
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
gift
then
also
they purchased costly cosmetics which has no use and are full of chemicals. More negative effects than positive.
On the other hand
, one group of people believe that there are many other sources where can they spend cash. Will salary can be used only for personal handling and happiness. Definitely not. These persons think that if they will help and support more will get more satisfaction and self-reliance.
Secondly
, serving NGOs and donating to the needy will bring lots of joy. Food can be distributed to the poor by wealthy people. It’s other ways to invest hard earning salary.
Thirdly
, simple living and high thinking is the slogan for
this
kind of persona.
For example
, Ratan Tata is
well-renowned
Add an article
a well-renowned
show examples
industrialist. But his prime quality is to help others.
Besides
that, during covid time film actor has shown that he is a real hero for the public by helping them. There are immense individuals who choose to contribute their pay to charity than self-personality grooming. In my opinion, both have importance according to situations. We should wisely use hard earn money. Either one side will have a detrimental effect. We can make a balance between self-care and need help.
Submitted by namita.sinha25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: