IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Government should spent money on rail rather than road. what extend do you agree or disagree.

#government #money #rail #road
Transport
Add an article
The transport
show examples
 ministry is one of the vital sectors of the country.
People
 opine authorities should be spending
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
show examples
 amount on railways
instead
 of roads. I completely agree with
this
 thought and will be illustrating some of the reasons justifying
this
 opinion of mine in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, traffic issues on roads have become
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
havoc in today's modern world.
People
 are often late to their work or children reach after time to their schools due to vehicle congestion on streets in peak hours of the day.
Furthermore
, by investing in railways many
people
 can travel in trains thereby reducing
density
Correct article usage
the density
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 roads.
Secondly
, due to huge numbers of transporters on
road
Add a comma
,road
show examples
 there is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 amount of pollution caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automobiles. For
this
 reason, developing metros in the city can deviate a plethora of commuters by taking
this
 mode of transport,
hence
, reducing air pollution and
also
 improving quality of life.
In addition
 to
this
, there are ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economical benefits to the common public. Travelling by trains can provide a cheaper option to travel to and from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nearby places.
Moreover
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 automobiles on streets can be safe for
pedestrains
Correct your spelling
pedestrians
, as there are cases of many accidents endangering
people
's life.
Also
, constructing railways between cities can provide an economical solution compared to
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 to provide
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
the convenient
show examples
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 in terms of time and price.
Although
, while developing
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 system road system cannot be ignored and must be given attention
too
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 to prevent collapses. To conclude, a nation should finance in all modes of conveyance for the safety, punctuality and security of all the nationals. Both systems are essential to be maintained in a country as they are necessary but advancements in railway infrastructure can alleviate many problems.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: