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Writing Samples
Band 5

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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In the midst of
this
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 technology-driven global
world
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,there
has
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have
show examples
 been lots of developments
happends
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happens
happened
 in the agricultural industry,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 lots of
people
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 are still suffering
with
Change preposition
from
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 not getting enough food or with
fully
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full
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 hunger.
This
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 is the fact
what
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of what
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 is going on in our society nowadays. In
this
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 essay ,I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
,why it is happening and how can we solve
this
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 issue. It is glad to see that our agricultural industry has grown
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
,admittedly most of the
manpowers
Correct your spelling
manpower
 are replaced by machines,
as a result
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, lots of
people
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 had lost their
job
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.
Previous
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In previous
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 years hundreds of
people
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 were working in a field for several days,
however
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 ,after imposing the machines hardly one or
two
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two-person
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person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 needed for handling the machine and it finishes the work faster than before,
hence
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rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the
people
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 became jobless.
This
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 is the foremost reason for
people
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 still go hungry. They have no
job
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, so no income
therefore
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 they cannot buy food or raw materials for cooking. Another reason for
this
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 is civilisation, most of the agricultural lands are used for other
puposes
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purposes
 ,
for instance
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,
constucting
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constructing
 buildings for
appartments
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apartments
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as buisiness,
show examples
buisiness
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business
 uses. Apparently,
population
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 increases
day
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 by
day
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 , at the same time, in some countries agricultural production is
inversly
Correct your spelling
inversely
propotional
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proportional
 to
population
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. For solving the
first
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 reason,the best option is to educate all of them ,minimum of a
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job oriented
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job-oriented
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 course, so that , they can get a
job
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 and have an income for managing their
day
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today
Correct your spelling
to day
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 life.
Next
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 is saving the
agricultual
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 land. Government authorities
strrictly
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strictly
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
people
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 that,
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
show examples
 area should use for that purpose only,if not they have to face legal action,
as a result
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, production won't be decreasing. One more solution is to control
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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,
for
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example
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,example
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 China
have
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has
show examples
 a strict rule that each couple should have only one child,
similarly
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 in those countries
have
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that have
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 more
population
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 should follow the same rule. To conclude, I can say that, only developing our agricultural industry can't feed all
people
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 around the
world
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, we should make some more arrangements for that. We will succeed only when, there is
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 a single
day
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, without a hungry man in
this
Linking Words
world
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,
then
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 only we can enjoy the worth of developments.
Submitted by chinnucw on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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