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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say that when a person achieves success in their job, it means that he/she is selfish and doesn’t care about others. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #person #success #job #doesn’t #care
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It is believed by some that,
success
 can be achieved if an individual
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
selfcentered
Correct your spelling
self-centred
self centered
 and selfish. I do not agree with the
above said
Add a hyphen
above-said
show examples
 idea because selfish
nature
 limits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning and does not lead to
accomplish
Change the verb form
accomplishing
show examples
 long
term
 goals .
To begin
 with, it is true that
selfish
Correct article usage
the selfish
show examples
nature
 of an
indvidual
Correct your spelling
individual
 allows them to limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning.
This
 is because no
one
 is having full knowledge in all the fields and is versatile in
nature
.
Hence
 , in order to acquire it,
one
 has to share their ideas and thoughts with their peers and fellow members .
For instance
, a financial analyst may be good at his
work
 in finance but lack computer skills which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a
necessaty
Correct your spelling
necessity
necessary
 in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 scenario.For
this
, imparting information is much needed.
Furthermore
,
selfish
Correct article usage
the selfish
show examples
nature
 of an individual fails them to achieve a long
term
 goal.
This
 is because a job is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
. It requires people to coordinate and
work
 together to achieve a combined target. A person may achieve his goal individually if he is selfish in
nature
 and get
success
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
term
 but in long
term
 may fail.
For example
, If out of 100
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
, only 10 % does the desired
work
,
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 progress immensely and would lead to
diminish
Change the verb form
diminishing
show examples
 stage and so does all the employees including the
one
's who are best in their
work
. To conclude ,It
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 argued by some that Job
success
 can only be achieved if an individual is selfish,
however
 in my opinion it only leads to limiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge and hindering the growth in long
term
 perspective.
Hence
 in order to achieve
success
one
 has to impart and share
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
amongts
Correct your spelling
amongst
among
 them
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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