Children are now facing educational, social, and commercial pressures. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures can be taken to reduce them?
The fact that students are pressurised in every possible spectrum of their lives by various factors
such
as education, social and commercial. And this
is mainly because of constant comparison. They are made to be a part of the rat race willing or unwilling by their parents, schools and peers. The essay below delves into this
phenomenon and highlights the reasons that give rise to it and the correct measures to deal with it.
To begin
with, problems that need to be considered are,
schools extending their syllabuses and arranging sudden exams whose scores affect their grades in the final exams. Remove the comma
apply
Likewise
, parents compare their kids with others and put an immense burden on their shoulders to excel at any cost. All these stresses
them out and Correct subject-verb agreement
stress
makes
them feel obliged to perform well. Correct subject-verb agreement
make
Also
, as they make friends and socialise they are extremely influenced by their peers. To illustrate, some teenagers drink, smoke and do drugs. They compel others to do the same things despite their unwillingness. As a result
, it causes anxiety for these kids. In addition
, various advertisements about clothes, shoes and many other things influence teenagers. For instance
, advertisements and magazines portraying actresses or actors wearing fashionable clothes, shoes or fit bodies influence kids and they feel anxious to cope up
with that.
Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, all these can be solved if the right steps are taken and implemented. Possible solutions to these problems are highlighted in this
paragraph. For example
, the government should make laws about restricting syllabus expansions and about intimidating students with studies and exams. Mothers and fathers should communicate and take care of their children more than comparing
them. Parents should develop a friendly Wrong verb form
compare
relation
with the youngsters so that they can share everything with them. And Replace the word
relationship
hence
, their mothers and fathers can persuade them from getting
involved in any kind of wrong deeds. Change preposition
to get
Lastly
, schools should create rules about wearing uniforms so that pupils feel less influenced by the commercials.
To conclude
, in today's era, youngsters are pressurised in a plethora of ways which ultimately have adverse effects on their physical and mental health. Therefore
to alleviate any kind of stress, laws should be implemented and corrective measures should be taken.Submitted by maimunazaman474 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more comprehensive and focused. The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Make sure to address all parts of the task question in detail. Provide more relevant specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address all parts of the task question. Ensure that the response is complete and covers all aspects of the topic. Provide clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples to support them.
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