An increasing number of people choose to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #development

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

era, in order to ameliorate the physical appearance, cosmetic and plastic

surgery

have become far popular.

Although

this

method may help some people, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

,opinion

show examples

its negative effects are much more and I am, personally,

in contrast

with these kinds of

surgeries

. Cosmetic

surgery

what

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is extremely popular these days, may assist someone who was born with a congenital defect.

For instance

one

of my friends’

nose

Fix the agreement mistake

noses

show examples

was so ugly, as well as, because of its bad shape my friend couldn’t breathe well. So she had

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plastic

surgery

to solve her drawbacks and after that,

her

Change the pronoun

she

show examples

breathe problem

solved

Add a missing verb

was solved

show examples

and her appearance got much better.

Furthermore

, an accident or a coincident may cause a deflection in someone who involves

such

event

Correct article usage

an event

show examples

. In

this

case, cosmetic

surgery

will help the

one

to get back his/ her self-confidence and

beauty

, indeed.

However

, as I am concerned about

such

surgeries

which are increasing nowadays, these methods are not good to become popular and get out of its medical reasons. A case in point is Kardashian sisters, who have far fans as celebrities, have changed the

beauty

assessments towards a disgusting way by performing many

beauty

operations.

Moreover

this

method to improve the physical appearance is dangerous for health sometimes and may cause irreparable consequences. As an illustration, I know a person who had

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

breast cosmetic

surgery

that her

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

operation did not go on well and she lost

one

of her breasts and

forced

Add a missing verb

was forced

show examples

to inject gel into her breast! Another negative point

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

the additive that these kinds of

beauty

Replace the word

beautiful

show examples

ways create for people. The individuals who attract to the

beauty

operations have to commute to

beauty

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

and hospitals in order to repair outcomes due to their

surgeries

and

also

change the other parts of their body they think is not perfect. The effect of

this

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the obsession

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

does not allow the person to think about positive activities

one

can do in his or her life. In conclusion, from my point of view, cosmetic

surgeries

which are soaring between people particularly teen ones

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is not a good suggestion to improve humanity via improving just the physical shape by imitating from some of

celebrities

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the celebrities

show examples

Submitted by aabdollahpour on Sat Sep 04 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increasing number of people choose to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driver less. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, people are becoming more and more interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?