Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that some commentators argue that schools should praise those who achieve the best grades, while other people think that it is more significant to give encouragement to
pupils
who make a great improvement in their
studies
. While the highest achievers deserve rewards, I believe that it is more necessary for children who make a great improvement to receive recognition for their effort. There are a variety of reasons why should praise
pupils
who have the best scores.
Firstly
,
this
could create a more competitive studying environment in schools, seeing that all
students
will desire to get the highest grades. As a consequence, by doing so, teachers will encourage their
pupils
to study hard.
Secondly
,
students
who show
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
academic performance deserve to have an
opportunitity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to nurture their talent.
For example
,
students
However
, it seems evident that
students
who make great strides in their academic performances deserve awards. The
first
benefit is that
this
achieve
Change the verb form
achieves
show examples
the
hoslitic
Correct your spelling
holistic
principles of education which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
access to knowledge. By doing
this
,
instead
of competing with the top classmates, children will only focus on their
studies
. Another benefit is that
this
can contribute to encouraging
pupils
to make progress in their
studies
and mitigating the consequences when examinations approach.
For example
,
students
can suffer from anxiety and
despression
Correct your spelling
depression
, when they prepare for the tests. In conclusion,
although
students
gaining the highest scores deserve
Add an article
the award
an award
show examples
award
Fix the agreement mistake
awards
show examples
, it seems to me that those who make great progress in their
studies
should receive awards.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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