Watching a live performance such as a play, concert or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, people are able to watch and enjoy

live

Add an article

a live

show examples

Use synonyms

concert

Fix the agreement mistake

concerts

show examples

, or entertaining

events

Use synonyms

via televisions or smartphones connected with the

interne

Correct your spelling

internet

. From my point of view,

althought

Correct your spelling

although

the advancements of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology enable people to watch

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

live performance through online gadgets, being a part of the

events

Use synonyms

is more enjoyable because of

friends

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and

surrounding

Correct article usage

the surrounding

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atmosphere of the

concerts

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all, the advantage of

live

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a live

the live

show examples

concert

Use synonyms

, which attracts

massive

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a massive

show examples

crowd to buy the tickets and join the

concert

Use synonyms

friends

Use synonyms

. Spending

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality time with

friends

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

the

concert

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remarkable

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a remarkable

show examples

moment for me. Not only enjoying the music

Add the word(s)

but,

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we may

also

Linking Words

meet

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

friends

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or even a girlfriend who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the same interest.

For example

Linking Words

, many couples

firstly

Linking Words

know each other from the

events

Use synonyms

concerts

Use synonyms

, which you cannot acquire these from remotely live

concerts

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Therefore

Linking Words

, the relationship

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

concerts

Use synonyms

is one of the main benefits, which is

irreplacable

Correct your spelling

irreplaceable

by televisions. The

second

Linking Words

benefit of joining the live

concert

Use synonyms

is the surrounding environment, which is more entertained than watching at home. The entertainment including

spotlight

Correct article usage

the spotlight

show examples

loud speaker

Correct your spelling

loudspeaker

show examples

, crowd, and being near the singers make audiences more enjoy the

concert

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, watching the recorded live

concert

Use synonyms

ACDC

Correct article usage

the ACDC

show examples

band singing the song named "Highway to the hell" through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youtube, which I saw the

million

Correct your spelling

millions

show examples

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

was jumping and singing along with the singer, still arouse my energy. Let's imagine, If I were the part of the

concert

Use synonyms

, It would be unforgettable

moments

Fix the agreement mistake

moment

show examples

for me forever. For

this

Linking Words

reason, live

concerts

Use synonyms

cannot be superseded by visual

events

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I strongly agree that being a part of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

live

concert

Use synonyms

is more entertained than watching

visual

Correct article usage

a visual

show examples

concert

Use synonyms

via

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

because live performances can create

the

Correct article usage

show examples

relationship between people and have

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

enjoyable environment, which cannot be found in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online

concerts

Use synonyms

prokoh_ja_555

Sep 4, 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive experience
replicated
energy
atmosphere
sense of community
shared excitement
unforgettable
predictable
convenience
comfort
crowds
travel
multiple camera angles
close-ups
replays
enhancing

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Watching a live performance such as a play, concert or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are living in the throwaway society where things are used for a short period and throwaway. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to?

Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that it is important to dress well, according to the latest fashion & trends. Whilst some believe that it is a person’s choice as per their comfort and ease. Do you agree or disagree give your opinion.