An increasing amount of people are emigrating from third world to western countries to fill openings in special job fields like engineering, computing, and medicine. Some think that by encouraging this immigration, rich countries are stealing from the poor. Others feel that this is only a natural movement. Explain your opinion and why.

With the increasing amount of people migrating from developing
countries
to devolved ones a lot of concerns have come to the minds
while
some believe that by
this
population movement rich
countries
are stealing from the poor, I believe that it is more of a natural movement that has to happen sooner or later. Considering the former argument , when people with high levels of education leave their home
countries
that leads to something called “brain drain” which can cause the under-development of some essential aspects of life
such
as medicine , engineering , technology etc .
For example
, the health level of the country is measured by the number of doctors in it , and with more doctors moving from third-world
countries
to Western ones that would lead to a
further
drop in
overall
health. And by looking into history , we find a great example regarding that issue .When the Ottoman Empire occupied Egypt , the sultan ordered the migration of all talented Egyptians into Al Astana the Ottoman capital which led to the disappearance of all forms of knowledge and enlightenment from the nation. Considering the latter argument , fields like medicine ,computing and engineering are much later developed in first-world
countries
so it shouldn’t come as
to
Correct article usage
a to
show examples
surprise the great desire of people with
such
professions to move abroad looking for better job opportunities .
this
is because of the higher salaries offered by these
countries
in addition
to the higher level of affluence .
This
contrasts the situation in developing nations
due to
the political and economic issues usually found in them , It is hard to acquire a stable life where you are well respected and supported with good salaries and the availability of all basic life and leisure utilities. In conclusion , I believe that the evacuation of professionals from underdeveloped to rich
countries
is a natural result of the bad opportunities and low incomes offered by their mother
countries
.
Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure more clarity in topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key points more clearly.
task response
Expand on the economic and social impact of emigration on both source and destination countries.
task response
The essay presents a balanced view of the issue by considering both sides of the argument.
task response
Good examples like the Ottoman occupation of Egypt were used to elaborate points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a summary of the main points discussed.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled migration
  • Bilateral agreements
  • Cultural exchange
  • Globalization
  • Human rights
  • Economic growth
  • Labor shortages
  • Innovation
  • Remittances
  • Host countries
  • Developing countries
  • Specialized fields
  • Workforce diversity
  • Mutual benefits
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