IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries more and more international travel is becoming cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to increase the number of tourists. Do the advantages of increasing tourism outweigh the disadvantage.

#countries #travel #doors #tourists #tourism
Globalization ease up the travelling from one
country
 to another
country
. Several countries
reduces
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
 the expenses to promote the
tourism
 of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
country
 and
hence
 hiked the rate of tourists day by day. In my opinion,
tourism
 gives lots of opportunities to the
country
 which promotes.
To begin
,
tourism
 helps to boost the number of job exposure to
people
 associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it. The exchange of human power is the most common and
thus
, makes a rise in sectors
such
 as restaurant, travels etc.
For instance
, according to the recent survey conducted by the human resource department of United Nations analysed that over 33
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the hike
show examples
hike
Fix the agreement mistake
hikes
show examples
 in the employment openings
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the
last
 year associated with the
tourism
 sector.
Additionally
, the exchange of culture and language is
also
 a significant part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
.
World
Add an article
The world
show examples
 has a mosaic of cultural and linguistic values. So, travelling paved a way to understand different customs and languages.
For example
,
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 decades back, Onam is a festival
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is only celebrated in Kerala. But today,
due
Add the preposition
todue
show examples
 the exchange of
people
 as a part of
tourism
 relocated
malayalies
Correct your spelling
Malayalees
Malayalis
 in each and every corner of the world. So, most of the
people
 around the world is celebrating Onam as their own festival. To sum up,
tourism
 improves the overall development of a
country
 and
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 related to it. So, it must say that the advantages of
tourism
overcomes
Change the verb form
overcome
show examples
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by Anju on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: