In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Some
people
believe that adolescents have to seek a job or travel for a period in which they have leisure
time
between finishing high school and beginning university studies. In my perspective, taking experience in that
time
also
has some positive aspects and some drawbacks. On the one hand, seeking a job or travelling for a long
time
also
takes advantage of a student's experience, which totally expands the ability to respond in special circumstances. When they finish high school, most of them
also
are taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
their parents, so
this
is an extremely huge chance to make
money
, and
also
help them to figure out the value of
money
.
In addition
, they must take responsibility for what they do.
Besides
, travelling brings
people
an abundance of intriguing experiences
such
as exploring strange
traditionals
Correct your spelling
traditional
traditions
, weird foods,
culturals
Correct your spelling
cultural
,… without any life’s pressure. The
time
when you just completed high school is nerve-racking,
therefore
travelling is a definitely fantastic way to refresh their mind before moving to the university.
On the other hand
, encouraging students to work in that period radically affects the student's awareness about
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. A year is a long
time
that makes
people
lose their good study habits and
also
strongly decline their sense of discipline. If they get used to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
money
, they will absolutely forget the purpose of study, the benefit of the college or university environment which is attributed to the lack of high standard resources. In conclusion, the more opportunities we received, the bigger the price that we paid for it.
People
must make decisions carefully and decide on what is most desirable.
Although
working soon will help you meet the demand for
money
, keeping
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
damnation about the future will
also
make you better at many things.
Submitted by plt13112001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: