Shopping online has various advantages for consumers but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?
In various nations around the world, many
people
are doing online shopping as this
ease
their life in so many aspects. Correct subject-verb agreement
eases
However
, there is a small group of people
who dislike it. While
there is clearly a drawback to this
, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant.
The disadvantage of online shopping is the loss of individual privacy. That is
to say, we need to register an account in order to proceed with the order. Moreover
, we need to key in our bank details for the payment. So, certain people
think that this
is not secure due to
the high rates of scammer recently around the world. As a result
, they prefer to down to the shop for shopping purposes.
On the other hand
, one of the major pros is that online shopping saves people
time especially
for those who work in the office. Add the comma(s)
, especially
This
is because these categories of people
spent
almost 10 hours in the office and to get Wrong verb form
spend
the
groceries by going down to the shops is an inconvenience to them. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, online shopping will be the priority and smart choice for them.
Moreover
, online shopping provides a variety of choices for consumers to purchase their goods. For example
, there are thousands of companies that do online business around the world. As a result
, consumers will have a better choice in order to purchase the items in a short period.
In addition
, online shopping also
helps the public to save costs in transportation and parking fees
. Take Singapore country as an example, parking fees
in the shopping is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
expansive
and Correct word choice
expensive
the
transportation Correct article usage
apply
fees
have been increased recently. So, by purchase
things online, the customers only need to pay for the delivery Wrong verb form
purchasing
fees
thus
for the middle wages people
will be benefited from these services.
To sum up
, i
believe the pros are of greater significance than the cons. Change the capitalization
I
Although
the consumer needs to disclose their bank details, they will gain a lot of benefits when they are doing online shopping. Given this
, it is recommended that the public should practice online shopping as compared to the old method.Submitted by tehmaylean on
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task response
Task Response: The essay partly addresses the task but lacks depth and thorough analysis. It briefly introduces the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping without expanding on each point or developing ideas fully. A more comprehensive discussion of the advantages and disadvantages, with clear examples and analysis, is needed to fully address the task.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the essay lacks proper development and support for the main points. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of online shopping, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Additionally, smoother transitions between ideas and better use of cohesive devices are needed to improve coherence and cohesion.