Shopping online has various advantages for consumers but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?

In various nations around the world, many
people
are doing online shopping as
this
ease
Correct subject-verb agreement
eases
show examples
their daily life routine.
However
, certain
people
think about the loss of individual privacy by doing so.
While
there is a clear drawback to
this
, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of shopping online is the loss of individual privacy. Indeed,
while
purchase
Change the verb form
purchasing
show examples
online things, we need to disclose our biodata and bank details in order to make the payment to the company.
For
example
, we need to create an account in the Shoppee before we can purchase items from the apps.
Besides
that, we
also
need to key in our bank card details for payment purposes. So, certain
people
felt insecure with
this
policy
due to
the high scammer rates around the world recently.   
On the other hand
, one of the major cons is that online shopping can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
people
to save
time
.
That is
to say,
people
who work long shifts
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rarely can spare their precious
time
for shopping.
As a result
, online shopping will be their priority choice to choose.
For
example
, the majority of the women who work 12 hours in the company will only top up their goods during their off day and
also
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
off day they ought to do the housework, so basically,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
don't have much
time
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
shopping in the shop. 
In addition
,
people
can save costs by shopping online.
This
is because ,in a certain period, the company will make a discount on certain goods. So, from here, the purchaser can gain benefit from
this
event.
Besides
that, they
also
save costs on transportation and parking fees. Take Singapore as an
example
, parking fees in the shopping mall are expensive and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport fees have been increased recently.
As a result
,
people
who are middle wages will definitely choose to shop online as compared to the shop. 
Moreover
, online shopping provides a variety of choices for the consumer to choose the stuff.
For
example
, there are thousands of companies that have registered for online business.
Consequently
, the consumer can pick the items that
there
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
prefer in various companies and
also
can do a comparison among them. 
To sum up
, I believe that the cons are of greater significance than the cons.
Although
we have to lose privacy to the account, our expenses have been saved and we have more
time
to do our things. Given
this
, it is recommended that consumers should practice
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shopping online.
Submitted by tehmaylean on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic and supports the overall argument. Use clear topic sentences and transitions to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction that outlines the position taken and a conclusion that restates the main points. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: