IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smokers but for non-smokers who inhale other people's smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people's freedom of action. What are your views?

#evidence #cigarette #smoke #health #smokers #non-smokers #inhale #people #places #freedom #action
There is no doubt that smoking leads to certain
health
 issues, whether you're an active or passive smoker. There has raged a vigorous debate over whether smoking in public spaces should be permitted or banned. In my view, despite its high controversy, decriminalizing smoking in public places seems essential.
To begin
 with,
although
 I lack much expertise about the dangers of tobacco use, I have been able to confirm with certainty through basic research that smoking has unpredictable consequences. Base on some reputable
health
 websites, researchers have determined that respiratory disorders and lung cancer cases are rising dramatically annually due to inhaling the fumes from smoking.
For instance
, the patients involved in the above conditions bear high medical expenses as well as long-term treatments that can either eventually cure the patients with considerable effort and money. Even cause extremely unfortunate deaths.
In addition
, if children observe adults smoking in public places, they are more likely to imitate their behaviour. A generation of young people will be negatively affected by
this
.
Consequently
, smoking in any public place should be restricted in order to prevent harming the
health
 of the public.
However
, some contend that every individual should have the freedom and responsibility to live their lives as they wish. It means they are free to live a life that supports their emotions and sensibilities in an enjoyable way. I believed that these people don't realize the fate they will face if smokers are allowed to smoke as they wish. In conclusion, I respect the right to freedom of citizens.
Nevertheless
, I support that we should put the
health
 of our entire society
first
 by strongly restricting smoking in public places as it is negatively for humans.
Submitted by haioanhcongviec on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: