Shopping online has various advantages for consumers but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?

#consumers #loss #privacy

In various nations around the world, many

people

are doing online shopping rather than

shop

Wrong verb form

shopping

show examples

. Some of the consumers think that it is extremely efficient for them

whereas

others are not. It is undeniable that online shopping gives

people

a great number of cons,

nevertheless

Add a comma

nevertheless,

show examples

there are some drawbacks to it. I personally believe that the benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of online shopping is

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

customers tend to lose individual privacy.

This

is because we need to create an account and disclose our bank details for the company in order for shipment and payment.

For instance

Correct word choice

if we

show examples

have to sign up for an account in the Shopee

apps

Fix the agreement mistake

app

show examples

then

only we can proceed with our purchase.

As a result

, certain

people

think that

this

is insecure

due to

there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high rate of online scammers

recently

Rephrase

apply

show examples

around the world.

On the other hand

, one of the major merits is online shopping can help consumers reduce expenses ,especially in transportation and parking fees. Take Singapore as an example, parking fees in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping malls are expensive and there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

an increase in transportation fares recently. So, by

purchase

Wrong verb form

purchasing

show examples

things from the websites, they can absolutely save the costs and they only need to pay for the delivery fee.

Moreover

, online shopping is tremendously convenient for

people

nowadays. We can see that the majority of employees have spent half of the day at work, so

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

hardly have spare time to go to the shop to top up the groceries,

thus

online shopping will be their priority and wise choice.

Consequently

, they manage to complete two tasks at one time.

To sum up

, I believe the merits are of greater significance than the demerit.

Although

we need to disclose our privacy to the website, online shopping will definitely help

people

in saving

Wrong verb form

save

show examples

costs and brings them convenience in their daily life. Given

this

, it is recommended that the public should start to practice shopping online as compared to the old method of shopping.

Submitted by tehmaylean on Mon Sep 06 2021

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task response

Address the advantages and disadvantages in more detail and provide more balanced argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure with a more effective introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

334 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping online has various advantages for consumers but it may also have several disadvantages including the loss of individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for consumers outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people nowadays decide not to work for a large company but to become self-employed. What problems might this decision cause? What can they do to solve these problems?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

"The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Improvements in health, education and trend are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibilities for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?