In some societies the number of crime committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An increasing number of
crimes
Use synonyms
committed by teenagers becomes a critical problem in some societies. At the same time, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that anyone who commits a severe crime should receive punishment the same as an adult. From my perspective, I agree with the idea. In the following paragraphs, I will give the reasons to support my viewpoint.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I believe that ordinary
people
Use synonyms
, who have a positive mind, cannot commit major
crimes
Use synonyms
, including murder, rape, kidnapping, etc.
In contrast
Linking Words
, one who has a criminal sense can make it, so society should not let any criminal receive less punishment.
For example
Linking Words
, the result of surveys from Harvard University revealed that teenagers who committed critical
crimes
Use synonyms
when they were young might repeat the same case once they get out of jail. Another example is that a psychopath, a serial killer, cannot be cured.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should treat any murderer equally.
Second
Linking Words
, it is widely believed that adults have better judgment than children.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
argue that being a good man does not require age.
Thus
Linking Words
, everyone should have positive morale.
Besides
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
should learn how to reduce their greed and malice. Criminals always did the same scene again and again.
Hence
Linking Words
, to prevent societies from
crimes
Use synonyms
, it is better to sentence every criminal hardly. In conclusion, I agree that any teenager should get the punishment as much as they deserve, as criminals have not been developed overnight.
Thus
Linking Words
, their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
will not be changed by receiving minor penalties.
Submitted by kanokwann.joy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: