IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words

In an era dominated by technological advancement, the use of digital payment systems has surged, leading many to anticipate the complete disappearance of physical
cash
Use synonyms
.
Although
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this
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 shift toward a
cashless
Use synonyms
 society seems inevitable, not everyone is prepared to abandon traditional currency.
This
Linking Words
 essay will evaluate the likelihood of
such
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 a transition and explore why some individuals remain hesitant to embrace it. The increasing prevalence of contactless cards, mobile wallets, and online banking indicates that a future without physical money is entirely plausible. Digital transactions are not only more efficient but
also
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 more secure. They reduce the risk of theft and loss, and allow for real-time tracking, offering transparency to both consumers and financial institutions.
Additionally
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,
cashless
Use synonyms
 systems accelerate transaction times, enhancing convenience for both buyers and retailers. Countries like Sweden exemplify
this
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 trend, where
cash
Use synonyms
 is rarely used, and even small vendors prefer digital modes of payment.
Nevertheless
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, the transition to a fully
cashless
Use synonyms
 economy poses challenges for certain populations. Elderly individuals,
for example
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, often struggle with digital technology
due to
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 unfamiliarity and cognitive barriers. My own grandmother, despite multiple attempts to learn card payments, finds the process overwhelming and prefers the tangibility of
cash
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, individuals in underdeveloped regions may lack reliable internet access or digital infrastructure, making
cash
Use synonyms
 the only viable option. There are
also
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 broader concerns regarding privacy, as digital payments leave behind a traceable footprint, potentially compromising financial autonomy. In conclusion,
while
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 a
cashless
Use synonyms
 future appears increasingly likely
due to
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 the efficiency and security of digital transactions, it is essential to ensure that
this
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 transformation is inclusive. Governments and financial institutions must address the needs of those less technologically adept or digitally
marginalized
Use the right word
marginalised
show examples
 to avoid deepening social and economic inequalities.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or details to support your points. For instance, include statistics about cash usage in older populations or specific examples from countries still using cash.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use connecting words more frequently to enhance flow. Phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in addition' can better guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument and presents a balanced view, which engages the reader.
Task Achievement
You provide good examples and point out real issues faced by certain groups, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cash
  • payment
  • card
  • phone
  • future
  • shop
  • people
  • happy
  • give up
  • reason
  • example
  • experience
  • convenience
  • security
  • benefit
  • reduce
  • risk
  • theft
  • loss
  • physical
  • production
  • transportation
  • privacy
  • concern
  • access
  • technology
  • society
  • summarize
  • pros
  • cons
  • society
  • trend
  • impact
  • transaction
  • consumer
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