Young people are leaving their homes frome rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantage?

#people #homes #frome #areas #study #work #cities #development

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High employment rates are so high nowadays, especially in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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rural

area

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. Young

people

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from

rual

Correct your spelling

rural

areas

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are willing to move and look for more opportunities in the big

cities

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, whether to work or to study. There are

Replace the word

various

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vary

Correct your spelling

very

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reasons behind

this

Linking Words

but in my opinion, I totally agree young

people

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should explore

outside

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the outside

show examples

world more and learn as much as they can in the big

cities

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Firstly

Linking Words

, every

goverment

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government

is willing to invest more resources and budget into

emplyement

Correct your spelling

employment

and educational

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area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

in their big

cities

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. In general, big

cities

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have a higher population rate compares to

the

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apply

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rural

areas

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. More jobs are required

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people

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for people

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to work and more

opportunties

Correct your spelling

opportunities

have been created for

people

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. Due to

this

Linking Words

, more young

people

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from rural

areas

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are willing to move from their

home

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homes

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to look for more

opportunuties

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opportunities

in the big

cities

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Besides

Linking Words

, rural

areas

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can only offer young

people

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very limited resources in terms of training or higher education after they leave school.

Secondly

Linking Words

, not only

employement

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employment

and educational

area

Use synonyms

government willing to invest. Government is

also

Linking Words

willing to invest in

technological

Add an article

the technological

show examples

Use synonyms

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

. Young

people

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can be able to learn all the latest

advance

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advanced

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technology compares to the

people

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who live in the rural

area

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. All the big companies like Google, Yahoo and Microsoft have offices in all the big

cities

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and have invested millions

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show examples

their product development. The most recent

nationally

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national

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survey was done by

University

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the University

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of South Australia that almost 75% of teens and young adults are all obsessed with technology especially they are

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the

show examples

fascination

Replace the word

fascinated

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

electronic games.

However

Linking Words

hosuing

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housing

hosting

is one of the big problems in big

cities

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and young

people

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are

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

finding themselves struggling to pay bills and feed their families. We can see some of the potential impacts of housing issues on mental health and

people

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well being. In conclusion, young

people

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should explore

outside

Add an article

the outside

show examples

world more and it is no harm to leave home from rural

ares

Correct your spelling

areas

to study or work in the

cities

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

government

governement

Correct article usage

the governement

show examples

should provide more resources

Change preposition

for

show examples

education and create more job

opportuntuies

Correct your spelling

opportunities

in rural

areas

Use synonyms

so that everyone should have

Correct your spelling

opportunity

opportunty

Correct article usage

the opportunty

show examples

to decide where they want to live or

stduy

Correct your spelling

study

day

Submitted by Special Queen on Tue Sep 07 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

366 words

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Young people are leaving their homes frome rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantage?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?